If you can’t take me at my worst,
you don’t deserve at my best!
Have you seen this quote, perhaps as a meme or on a relationship board? Do you agree with it?
I believe these words holds within them the reasons why so many couples have such trouble communicating with each other. Basically, I believe this quote says that no matter how bad my behaviour is, it is my partner’s responsibility to “take it”. The reward for taking my negative behaviour, whether it be anger, jealousy, competitiveness, pettiness, are the wonderful things I will do and say once my dark mood passes. Basically, I am such an amazing person that in order to be worthy of being my partner they must be ready to take all of my hurtful behaviour without complaint.
Let that sink in a moment. I am such an amazing person that anyone wishing to enjoy my company must prove their worthiness by s ...
According to this philosophy, I am naturally entitled to a romantic life free of all consequence no matter my actions.
Can you see now why I feel this approach to be the antithesis of good relationship strategy? The principal reason why I believe this approach will not result in domestic bliss is that it attempts to sidestep one of the most foundational elements of a healthy relationship: responsibility.
I am such an amazing person that anyone wishing to enjoy my company must prove their worthiness by submitting to my darker moods without question
One of the most important steps one can take towards achieving a healthy, positive relationship is taking full responsibility for what we say or do. While we may not be responsible for how our partner may receive our words, we are fully responsible for saying them and therefore are fully entitled to the consequences of our actions. There is no wiggle room on this: as adults we are responsible for our actions and for the consequences of our actions.
The above quote shifts all of the responsibility for the consequences of our actions onto our partners and shields us from any fallout our actions may cause, much like a child would. We can behave with impunity, for if our love is true we will never have to deal with any repercussions. By shifting the bulk of the responsibility onto my partner, I have created a situation where I am no longer responsible for my actions.
So what is the alternative? Following my belief in responsibility, I believe both partners in a relationship are responsible for the well-being and fruitfulness of the union. Everything you do or say as the potential to either enhance or undermine your relationship, so why not consider this before acting?
Will your words hurt or support your partner? Are your motivations constructive or destructive? Are you placing the needs of the relationship first, or are you choosing to act purely out of self-interest?
Are you willing to stand-up and take the consequences for your actions, or are you looking to shift the blame?
Consider these questions before you speak or act, especially if you are hurt or angry. Speak your truth, but do so in a way that places the welfare of the relationship first. That may mean taking a moment to calm down, letting the emotional fires burn down a little before continuing. The hurt from a careless word can last a long time, so take responsibility for your actions, consider your words, and always hold your relationship close to your heart.
Do this, and you will be on the road to a deep fulfilling union.
Love & Light
Pardon the delay on my report on the worldwide Orgy!! It was soo much fun!! ... so much so that I am adding in the Lush toy into my services...
Anyway, back to the Orgy story :)
I purchased my Lush toy recently and had been wanting to try it out, what better way to do so than during an online #orgy for Masturbation May!! ( I didn't even know it was a thing!! )
To my surprise I didn't have to wait until the 9pm starting time for my time zone! As soon as I connected to the app my vibe started!! Every time someone tweeted the hashtag I felt it!! What a way to start a Saturday!
I also shared my handle on the app with a fella on the east coast of the USA. It was completely random, and I did get other requests for my handle via twitter but hey! I thought one stranger was enough LOL!
Being on the west coast of Canada, I was curious as to how this whole thing would work out !! We chatted on the app and decided that when I went out for a walk he could "control" my vibe!!
My husband and I decided that we ...
I am taking the plunge and joining in the #LovenseOrgy happening online tomorrow 9pm PST ~ celebrating Masturbation May! ~ who knew?? 😇
I did not! ( you can find out all about it through Twitter, if you are interested in joining too! )
I have recently purchased one of their remote control toys and what better way to try it out, then adding in some hashtag pulses !!
Check back in a couple of days and I will post my hopefully! exciting experience as well as a detailed review of the toy itself!!
With pleasures,
Selene xo
I was surfing the net recently, and I came across the word “micro-cheating”. Being naturally inquisitive, I stopped and read up on what was described as the latest trend in maintaining healthy and positive relationships. I was surprised at what I found!
Micro-cheating, it seems, describes a set of seemingly trivial acts which could be interpreted as signs of your partner’s impending infidelity. The signs could be very slight, such as him having a passcode on his phone, spending a lot of time at his computer or taking his phone with him when he is alone such as going to the bathroom.
The determining factor as to whether something is described as micro-cheating is how it makes you feel. If you feel he is cheating on you, or preparing to cheat on you, then he must be. Your feelings determine reality, because if he wasn’t micro-cheating then you wouldn’t have any reasons to feel that he is, right?
Once you feel he is being unfaithful in some way, then it is incumbent upon you to gather evidence to ...
